THE UNITED NATIONS
RANT

You’ve perhaps heard of Turtle Bay on New York’s east side? I imagine it takes its name from the wild life that inhabits that body of water, but I’m really not sure. Perhaps the moniker derives from its shape, but I’ve never bothered to investigate. Let’s assume that turtles do populate the Bay. Turtles, as with all wild life, do what turtles are supposed to do. You know, turtle stuff. They are not mean, base, treacherous, venal, or vile. They are not two-faced, they do not lie, hate, or prevaricate. While never having investigated the Bay, I’ve looked closely into that insidious, malevolent, malicious, malignant, American-hating, anti-Western boondoggle that is headquartered there! That’s right, the fucking United Nations!!

If you’re beginning to get an inkling that I’ve got just a few issues with that august body, I congratulate you on your perceptiveness; your intuitiveness. Hate is a strong emotion and not one to be wasted. I absolutely hate that fucking monstrosity euphemistically referred to as the United Nations and all those pompous, effite, one-world, globalist bastards who despise my country! As far as I can tell, the only thing these alien assholes are united in is their deep loathing of America and all that it stands for. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you! Talk about insidious ingratitude: about pussilanimous putzes! Jesus, do these guys have a set of brass cajones or what?!?

Without America, these back-biting nefarious wimps don’t even have a pot to piss in, let alone a clubhouse! I’ve seen figures that put our dues paid to the U.N. at almost twenty-five percent of its total budget. That’s hundreds of millions of dollars a year! This, of course, does not include our “contributions” to that body’s special “peace-keeping” functions and other venues that jack the annual total paid by the American tax-sucker into the billions!!

The Backgrounder, a Heritage Foundation publication, did an analysis as far back as 2003. Authors Nile Gardiner, Ph. D. and Baker Spring note that, “ever since the U.N. was created in 1945, the United States has been its biggest contributor. The United States currently contributes 22 percent of the U.N.’s regular budget.” Additionally, the authors illustrate that, “U.S. contributions to the U.N. system in 2001 totaled $3.5 billion, including $612 million in assessed contributions to the U.N. regular budget, $712 million toward U.N. peacekeeping, and $2.2 billion in voluntary contributions.” Gardiner and Baker also point out that the “Department of State and Defense gave the U.N. $3.45 billion in direct contributions to conduct peacekeeping operations between 1996 and 2001. This figure is dwarfed by the estimated $24.2 billion in indirect contributions made by the U.S. government to help support 33 U.N. peacekeeping operations in 28 countries during that five-year period.”

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! Talk about throwing good money after bad! For all this largesse we are hated, spat upon, ridiculed, and have witnessed the American flag burned by our fellow member nations! Since its inception in 1945, the U.N. has failed miserably at literally everything it has been charged with doing. These low-life, odious, slime-balls couldn’t successfully find their collective assholes with both hands and a flashlight!! Keep the peace? Give me a fucking break! Prevent genocide? Please, it is to laugh! Feed the poor and the hungry? Fuggeddaboutit!! Heal the sick? Dream on! The warlords, tyrants, and dictators – most of whom are club members – steal the food and medicine before it ever gets to those who need it. What do we get for our misguided philanthropy?

I give you the Oil for Food Program where old Koffi and son Kojo made out like bandits! John Dillinger and Pretty Boy Floyd look like freaking Boy Scouts compared to these two thieves. They make Ali Baba and the Boys look like rank amateurs! You know those cute little kids that come around on Halloween collecting for UNICEF? Forget it, not one more cent! Who knows into what scumbag’s hands all those pennies end up? Can the United Nations enforce its own empty and meaningless resolutions? I give you Saddam Hussein from the early 1990’s to March of 2003! How many of those resolutions did he ignore? Sixteen, seventeen? Can this useless bunch of foreign mother fuckers even control their own blue-helmeted Neanderthals? I give you the scores if not hundreds of African girls and women raped by the “peacekeepers” charged with protecting them!

To add insult to injury, when one of our own American soldiers refused to don the ever-so stylish, powder blue helmet and pledge fealty to that scum from New York’s east side, he insisted that he was an American soldier and would fight, perhaps die, in no other uniform than that of his own country! For this he was court martialled and, I believe, thrown out of the American military by his own commanders! I mean, what the fuck is that all about? Oh, but wait. I believe that Bill Clinton was our BJ in Charge – uh, I mean Commander in Chief at the time. Hmmm? That may explain a lot. Let’s face it folks, the United Nations is just one humongous example of organizational erectile disfunction. It is and always has been thoroughly impotent and no amount of Viagra can make it right! Talk about Limp Noodle Syndrome!!!

That mob of howling, murderous jackals is good for only one thing: hating America and wanting to see us ridiculed and humiliated. When you’re the Big Dog, all the other little yappers want to bring you down. It’s natural. There will be Hell to pay, however, when the Big Dog gets fed up enough and starts fighting and biting back! If these cheap, tin-horn assholes aren’t careful, that time is coming sooner than later. So preeminent a scholar as Victor Davis Hanson wrote in National Review Online that, “At the U.N. it is said that a ruling hierarchy mistrusts the United States and that a culture of anti-Americanism has become endemic within the organization.” He then asks a particularly salient question: “If we are mistrusted for caring about those thousands who are inhumanely treated by a supposedly humane organization, then why in the world should we wish to be liked by such a group?” Perhaps an even more relevant question might be why in the Hell would we even want to a part of such a group?! Get my drift?

Illustrating yet again the U.N.’s hypocrisy, irrelevance, uselessness, and ass-backwardness would be its Commission on Human Rights. Yup, it is exactly what it sounds like: a body to investigate, examine, and correct severe human rights abuses around the world. A noble, humanitarian, and laudable undertaking until you dig just a little under the surface. Which nation was taken off that commission for purportedly committing massive human rights violations? You got it in one: the United States! Have we at times violated someone’s rights here and there? Probably. What nation, in 2003 I believe, was elevated to head that phony-ass commission? Libya, under the benign leadership of that true humanitarian, that paradigm of compassion, Colonel Muammar Qadhafi! Qadhafi is certainly one of the more humane leaders of the both the 20th and 21st century when he can take time off from killing, torturing, and maiming his own and other people!

Once again, I give you Gardiner and Baker: “The U.N.’s credibility has been gravely damaged by the fall from grace of the organization’s Commission on Human Rights…” They continue, “Libya’s chairmanship of the commission and its appeasement of brutal dictators in Africa, Asia, and the Middle East has irreparably harmed the U.N.’s reputation.” Does this really sound like the kind of body that America should or would belong to? According to the study, “Under Libya’s leadership, the U.N. Commission on Human Rights has become an absurdity on the world stage. Libya remains one of the world’s most repressive regimes, along with North Korea and Iran.” The authors correctly point out that, “Qadhafi has built up a reputation as one of Africa’s most brutal dictators,” and that the “Libyan regime suppresses domestic opposition, tortures prisoners, arbitrarily arrests and detains its citizens, and refuses detainees a fair and public trial. It also seriously restricts freedom of speech, press, assembly, and religion, and is even accused of trafficking in human slavery.”

Read that last sentence again. I’ll wait. Good. Do we really want to be in the same club as this cut-throat piece of shit? Do we really want to know if Muammar can come out and play today? His actions in his own country toward his own people fly in the face of everything America stands for. He and others like him should have been expelled from that useless, anti-American, murderous organization decades ago. He is our enemy and yet there he sits on Turtle Bay, in New York City, in MY COUNTRY!! What the fuck is wrong with us? Would you invite a sworn enemy into your home for cocktails and canopies? Letting the enemy in seems to me like a step down the road to self destruction. Can anyone say Rome?

In addition to our friend in Libya, “current members of the UNCHR include many of the world’s worst human rights abusers.” The study includes other sworn enemies of the United States, all of whom have declared us their eternal foe; their Great Satan: Sudan, Syria, Cuba, and Zimbabwe. Additionally, China, Saudi Arabia, Russia, and Algeria sit on the Commission and none of those nations are exactly paragons of human rights. The authors note that, “Zimbabwe and Sudan remain the most oppressive nations in Africa. In Zimbabwe, 7 million people face starvation by man-made famine. In Sudan, the modern-day slave trade is thriving with the complicity of the Sudanese government with thousands abducted in recent years.” And here’s the kicker: “the U.N. has not condemned the brutal regimes in Harare and Khartoum.”

Does it make any fucking sense for America to belong to much less to contribute so much to a fucking rogue organization like the U.N.? The United Nations violates every lofty ideal articulated in its humanitarian charter on virtually a daily basis. Yet we still do business with these vicious, vile, anti-American Scum-Bags! In addition, not a day goes by when some little bullshit, pissant nation, some Islamofascist Fuck, some tin-horn, two-bit vermin in human guise like Hugo Chavez of Venezuela condemns the United States for everything from cultural imperialism, to occupying Iraq, to committing war crimes and torture, to being the cause of every single thing wrong in the entire fucking world!! Can someone please remind me why my country is still associated with this corrupt, disgraced, and venal organization? I can’t quite remember. Can someone kindly explain to me just once more why my tax dollars are taken from me and spent on this fucking aberration that has never done human-kind the slightest iota of service?

Gardiner and Baker conclude with, “Libya, Cuba, and Syria are all on the State Department’s list of state sponsors of international terrorism. By permitting these states to be members of the Commission on Human Rights, the United Nations is sending a clear message that it not only condones human rights abuses, but also grants legitimacy to rogue regimes that help facilitate global terrorist networks that are producing weapons of mass destruction (WMD). The UNHRC has, in effect become a platform for many of the world’s most odious and dangerous regimes.”

The enemy is not just at the gates, folks, but the barbarian is ensconced in mid-town Manhattan. I want that fucking organization out of New York City and headquartered in some God-forsaken part of the globe like the freaking Sahara Desert!! Give the damned building to Trump and let him build condos for the super wealthy or affordable housing for the poor. I don’t much give a fuck! Get that useless, horrific, anti-American, anti-humanitarian excuse for a world body the fuck outta here. If someone ran for the Presidency on just this one issue, I’d bet they’d garner a shit-load of votes. Think of the T-shirts and the bumper stickers!

Would you remain a member of a club in which most of your fellows utterly despised you and were not the least bit shy about showing it? Would you pony-up your dues and contribute yet additional funds so that the organization could continue to function? When virtually every action you want implemented or every idea for improvement you suggest is thwarted at almost every turn, would you drop your membership or continue to pay the lion’s share of the club’s financial obligations? In other words, would you bend over, grab your ankles, and take it up the ass with a smile on your face? Hmmmm? I think we know the answer.

A few years back, Snopes.Com, for whatever it’s worth, came up with an interesting, quite predictable, and thoroughly sickening set of statistics that illustrated how our fellow club members viewed the United States. The member nations voted against America, in the aggregate, 88% of the time! Here’s just a sampling of individual countries, as reported by Snopes, that voted against us: Kuwait, whose ass we saved, 86%; Jordan, 88%; Saudi Arabia, our supposed ally, 90%; Sudan, 86%; Pakistan, 87%; Egypt, 86%; India, a fellow democracy, 79%. Even more illuminating and despicable is the following little tid bit. Egypt, who overwhelmingly votes against America, still receives $2 billion a year from us! Pakistan is rewarded for its faithlessness with pay-outs of about seven million American tax-sucker dollars per anum! India receives close to $145,000,000 and Jordan receives close to $200,000,000. This is not merely astounding, it is no less than suicidal. We continue to drain our already strained coffers to fund sworn enemies at the United Nations, but we even reward back-stabbing “allies” with our largesse. This is not merely mind-boggling, it’s more like fucking insanity!!

How about this for a suggestion? Fuck the United Nations! Send it packing! Give it the boot! How about we get together with other truly democratic nations around the planet? You know, countries in which citizens have rights, can choose their leaders, and actually have a voice in what happens to them!! We’ll form a United Nations of Democratic Countries: the UNODC! Such an organization might be extremely effective in promoting peace, human rights, and human dignity because it would not become a forum, a haven and a home for all the world’s worst tyrants, thugs, dictators, religious nuts, demagogues, and all around assholes! If we continue our
association with that House of Ill Repute on Turtle Bay, we’re bound to pay a heavy price at some point in the future. We are literally allowing the inmates to run the asylum, and that can only mean disaster for this country!!

Much luv y’all and have a great day!

The Fifth Horseman