THE SECOND AMENDMENT RANT

The Second Amendment must never be altered, amended, removed or in any manner, shape, or form changed. It is inviolable, sacrosanct, venerable, and set in stone. A 28th amendment to our Constitution should be devoted solely and purely to this end in order to thwart those mindless, meddling, misbegotten mother fuckers on the loony liberal left who would destroy it in their ongoing, relentless socialist-fascist determination to compromise, nay decimate, yet another of our cherished freedoms and birthrights! In case you begin to get just the slightest inkling about how passionate I feel concerning the rights of citizens to own guns, I congratulate you on your acumen, instincts, and perceptiveness. I guess just nothing gets by you guys. Actually, amendments one through ten should forever remain inviolate and immune from the amendment process (these would constitute the Bill of Rights for those members of the Genus Ignorami out there). As a matter of fact, should this ever occur I’ll solemnly and formally pledge in writing to keep my big mouth shut regarding that God-awful monstrosity, that horrendous aberration that is our 8th Amendment. No cruel and unusual punishment my sorry old ass!

The Second Amendment to the United States Constitution clearly and unambiguously states that, “A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.” Which word or phrase here seems confusing, unclear, or convoluted? It is a clear-cut, simple, declarative sentence and only those with an agenda that would disarm the citizenry of this nation have any problems deciphering its meaning. The Founders gave us NOT a “living, breathing document” but rather hard and fast rules and procedures that instituted the only historical example of limited government on the planet at that period. These were probably the greatest, most illustrious minds ever gathered together at a single place in time in world history and it hasn’t happened since nor is it likely to again – ever! They were brilliant, forward-looking, and prescient and knew not only exactly what they wanted but precisely what was required.

The Founders understood all too well that government by its very nature and definition continually seeks and acquires ever increasing measures of power and that can only result in diminishing individual liberty and freedom. They didn’t trust the government of King George nor did they trust the one of their own creation. In her excellent but thoroughly worrisome book, Dependency On D.C.: The Rise Of Federal Control Over The Lives Of Ordinary Americans, Charlotte A. Twight notes that the “shift from personal autonomy to dependence on government is perhaps the defining characteristic of modern American politics.” She continues that “we in America have traded individual liberty piecemeal for dependence on government without revolution, without reflection, and often without systematic understanding.” This is exactly and precisely what kept the Founders awake at night unable to close their eyes. Twight concludes that “Despite the Framers original vision of the United States as a nation with a government of limited powers, today each of us is heavily dependent on the federal government in most areas of our lives.”

Those long dead white guys thoroughly concurred with Twight’s pessimistic prognosis of what ails this nation. James Madison, the father of our Constitution, noted that “where an excess of power prevails, property of no sort is duly respected." Thomas Jefferson also feared too powerful a government and insisted that the “issue today is the same as it has been throughout all history, whether man shall be allowed to govern himself or be ruled by some small elite.” Similarly, James Jackson insisted that “we must confine ourselves to the powers described in the Constitution, and the moment we pass it, we take an arbitrary stride toward a despotic government.” These men feared that unless government remained limited in its power the people would over time be yet again enslaved by tyrant or oligarchy. Thomas Paine lamented that “we still find the greedy hand of government thrusting itself into every corner and crevice of industry, and grasping at the spoils of the multitude,” while Madison noted that the growth of government power is slow, insidious, and barely perceptible until the rights of the people have been usurped. He said, “There are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations.” In a later era Mark Twain so aptly opined that “it could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.” H.L. Mencken, certainly one of America’s greatest thinkers and wordsmiths, summed it up beautifully when he explained that “the only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it’s good-by to the Bill of Rights.”

How does the fear of too powerful a government relate in any way to the 2nd Amendment of the Bill if Rights? How, indeed! The first thing despots do upon seizing power is disarm the populace. This is designed to intimidate, create fear, and induce obedience. The psychological effects on public morale are utterly devastating and lead to, among other things, almost universal docility. Old Adolph made it abundantly clear when he said, “The most foolish mistake we could possibly make would be to allow the subject races to possess arms. History shows that all conquerors who have allowed their subject races to carry arms have prepared their own downfall by doing so.” The first people he conquered were his own. Mr. Castro did the same thing in Cuba some decades later. The last thing any despot wants, then or now, is a population capable of offering even the slightest resistance to the ruler. Our Founding Fathers knew this and thus included the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution.

George Mason succinctly agreed when he noted, “. . .to disarm the people – that was the best and most effectual way to enslave them.” Even the late Hubert H. Humphrey, certainly no conservative and hardly a frothing at the mouth, mad dog, gun nut, concurred. He maintained that, “. . .one of the chief guarantees of freedom under any government, no matter how popular and respected, is the right of citizens to keep and bear arms.” He continued, “the right of citizens to bear arms is just one guarantee against, one more safeguard, against tyranny which now appears remote in America but which historically has proven to be always possible.” Alexander Hamilton insisted that the “best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed.” Jefferson maintained that the “natural progress of things is for liberty to yield and government to gain ground.” He also flatly and definitively stated, “No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms.” (Please note that all quotes from the Founders were obtained from the excellent web page of Dr. Walter E. Williams)

Right, I know. This all happened so long ago and conditions were so vastly different that only a paranoid old asshole like me worries about such arcane nonsense as a loss of rights, too much government power, and an erosion of freedom. People tell me that ordinary citizens no longer need to own and carry firearms. The government will protect us and maintain an orderly, civil society without a loss of freedom. People who hold the 2nd Amendment dear constitute the Old Fart School of thinking and are thoroughly irrelevant and inadequate in the context of the enlightened 21st century collective frame of mind. I am constantly told by these contemptible, arrogant, elite, effete fucking snobs who couldn’t find their assholes with both hands and a flashlight that me and my ilk are no more than crusty old curmudgeons who stand in the way of progress. You think so, Skippy? Well fucking ilk this! It is you condescending, feminized, weak-willed, weak-minded silly sons of bitches who just don’t get it – but you’re sure as shit going to!! It’s coming and when it finally hits you smack dab in the face it’s gonna feel like you were floored by some Brooklyn street punk expertly wielding his favorite Louisville Slugger!

Let’s see, what am I thinking of? It starts with a w and ends with an o. Can I please buy a freaking vowel? Oh yeah, Waco, a city in Texas that you may have heard of. What was it that occurred there? David Koresh and his group of wacked-out weirdos set up a compound, hunkered down, and pretty much minded their own business. They called themselves the Branch Davidians and no one really knew for sure what the cult did. As I recall, allegations of child abuse emerged, something about illegal narcotics, and a few other fairly nebulous charges were bandied about but no one seemed to know for certain. A warrant was issued for Koresh’s arrest but was never served. It easily could have been for our boy Dave made trips to town to stock up on victuals and other necessaries fairly regularly. His movements were easily traced and he made no attempts at stealth, wore no disguises, and was in no manner, shape, or form in the least bit furtive. He could easily have been tagged, served, arrested, or merely questioned with very little fanfare or publicity.

But nooo, what did Clinton and the Gang do instead? That’s right, they ran completely fucking amok. Mind you, not just regular old run of the mill amok for that simply wouldn’t do. Yessirree, the Blow Job in – uh, I mean Commander in Chief approved of or commanded the fair and lovely Janet to display a show of force designed, no doubt, to frighten the Branch Davidians into meekly submitting to the will of a thoroughly benign government determined to protect Joe Six Pack and his family from the evil cultists. The only problem here seems to be that no one knew exactly what malfeasance the assumed evil-doers had committed. It didn’t matter. The ATF arrived in full battle regalia armed not just to the teeth but rather up the old wazoo as well! We’re talking full body armor, protective shields, semi-automatic pistols, fully automatic rifles, every type of grenade known to the military, as well as light and heavy armored vehicles. They even brought their own tank, I mean a freaking tank!

Let’s remind ourselves of exactly who was on the receiving end of all this government attention. A division of Mexican soldiers who had crossed the Rio Grande to help retake the Southwest starting with Texas? A couple of hundred members of that vicious, murderous, psychopathic Salvadorian gang MS 13? Nope. The mighty United States government amassed all this firepower against approximately one hundred or so innocent or not so innocent American citizens, eighty of whom were minor children! Yes, the BD’s were armed. The 2nd Amendment gave them that right but they were certainly no match for the world of shit that was headed their way. A fire broke out and to this day I don’t believe anyone can definitively say who caused it. Perhaps the Davidians, perhaps the government but in the end the outcome was lethal. As I recall, not one member of the cult survived, including the kids. Great job there Janet and Bill, yessirree fucking Bob! I don’t mean to sound like some asshole Monday morning quarter back but I’m willing to wager that there just may have been a slightly better and more subtle way to handle the situation. Talk about giving a whole new meaning to the term Crispy Critters!

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. A bunch of misfits, ne’er do wells, and misguided misanthropes accidentally and tragically died. What the Hell, suck it up, move on, and stop brooding. After all, shit happens! I suppose that’s one way of looking at it, but I believe Jefferson, Madison, and the rest of those dead white guys would have been mortified at the prospect of our supposedly limited government killing its own citizens regardless of the fact that their life-styles were not in sink with those of most of us. Since when is living a different life-style a capitol offense in this nation? While the DB’s were engaged in what could aptly be termed anti-social behavior it was merely rumored – not proven – that they acted criminally. Thomas Jefferson and most of the Founders feared that without constant due diligence our newly created system had the potential to “become as oppressive as the government from which we separated,” and destroy America’s great experiment. Some may call this mere alarmism on old Tom’s part but having lived under a monarchy he witnessed first-hand abuses of power inflicted on citizens by a completely centralized government.

Americans today are far too removed from our Revolution that began in 1776 and take our freedoms for granted. While understandable, it is lamentable in the extreme. Two hundred and thirty years ago, however, that certainly was not the case. Our hard fought, newly acquired freedoms were jealously guarded, protected, and revered. No natural born American today has experienced life under absolute monarchy or total dictatorship. Our freedoms have been part of us since day one and to be without them is truly inconceivable and absolutely unimaginable – to most Americans, that is. There are still groups out there in virtually every state that realize that while freedom is certainly precious it is also extremely fragile and delicate and can easily be destroyed by an over-reaching and out of control government.

They are our modern day militias and represent a direct link back to our colonial militias all those decades ago. In many ways they are the philosophical descendents of men like Jefferson and Madison who feared for the life of the new republic. They are viewed by most 21st century Americans as Red Necks, Good Old Boys, and Shit Kickers. They are seen as misanthropes, throw-backs, and out of their place and time. They drill in remote areas, wear camouflage military style uniforms, and – oh no – carry weapons! They fear that the government is stifling and destroying our freedoms, consider the federal income tax thoroughly despicable and unconstitutional, and most are card carrying members of that gun toting lobby group, The NRA. They are laughed and snickered at – behind their backs of course – and are considered buffoons, clowns, and caricatures. And you know what? The Founders would have thoroughly approved of their motives and philosophical underpinnings. They are true watchdogs of the government and provide a direct link back to a past when defenders of freedom knew just how easily our rights could be completely bull dozed by an out of control, all pervasive central government. They provide a necessary if unappreciated service in a nation that year by year grows ever farther apart from its national heritage and foundations.

A fellow named Randy Weaver was just such a guy as those described above. I don’t know exactly what Mr. Weaver did to upset the powers that be, but upset them he did. I seem to recall reading something about the gentleman owning a shot gun that was about one-quarter inch shy of the legal eighteen-inch limit but I wouldn’t want to bet the ranch on that. One fine day the ATF came calling in full combat mode. As the story goes, they may or may not have identified themselves as Federal Agents but by the time the smoke cleared it no longer mattered. All the Weaver family knew was that there were dozens of heavily armed individuals surrounding their remote cabin in Ruby Ridge, Idaho. I am told that the Weaver boy, all of twelve or thirteen years old, raised the warning and was shot dead for his troubles. Also killed were Mr. Weaver’s wife who was holding their ten-month old infant at the time, and the family dog. Really now, even the damned dog? Old Randy somehow managed to make it out alive but obviously his life has been forever changed. I believe he brought a lawsuit against the government but even if he won, it’s got to be very little in the way of compensation for the loss of his loved ones.

Yeah, I know. I wasn’t there and only those that were should be allowed to any insight as to what actually occurred. Was the ATF entitled to take out the Weavers? I don’t know but the death of children, family pets, and women holding infants speaks at the very least of an operation – if not a government – out of control. Maybe I’m beating a dead dog to death here (sorry, couldn’t help it) but perhaps, just maybe, those guys all those years ago were on to something as they warned the populace about the nature and scope of government – any and all government anywhere at any time. Perhaps Randy Weaver and other militia types were also on to something that the rest of us have become too complacent, fat, happy, and lazy to worry about. Whaddya think, hmmmm?

Does anyone remember the name Wilson Goode? No, well let me refresh your memories. He really earned his “fifteen minutes of fame” as mayor of Philadelphia back during the late 1970’s. He too had cult problems and became greatly annoyed and highly agitated when a group of, I believe, Rastafarians let their goats and chickens run around untethered in their inner-city neighborhood. They certainly were in violation of city health codes, created a definite nuisance, and obviously left a scent that the neighbors could have definitely done without. What to do, what to do? Complaints came in faster than the city could process them. Mayor Goode was absolutely swamped. He tried all the normal channels: summons, fines, arrests, more summons, fines, etc. Having run the gamut, old Wilson decided to get creative, really fucking innovative. He launched an air strike! That’s right, I shit you not!! The silly son of a bitch in a stroke of pure “Gen-I-Ass” called up either an Apache or Black Hawk attack chopper and took out the offending dwelling with a single rocket! Problem fucking solved!! Absolutely ingenious, beyond creative, and exquisitely effective. Oh, did I mention that the missile not only took out the offending dwelling and its occupants, but burned down an entire fucking city block?! Instant homelessness. Was this just another big “oops” by someone who simply didn’t think it through or was it yet another example of government abusing its power and destroying the rights of citizens? You decide.

Yes, yes I know. The three examples cited thus far are certainly extreme – way out there. Think back a few pages ago, however, and remember Mr. Madison’s warning about “silent and gradual encroachments.” The use of deadly force is not the only way government has over the years impinged upon our freedoms and limited any number of what were once legal activities. Many years ago, for example, we were free to ride motorcycles completely sans helmet. Can you believe it? We deemed fit to make our own decisions concerning our personal safety as long as we endangered no one else. If one were foolish enough not to wear a helmet and went over the high side at eighty MPH then in all probability he died. Did he put others at risk? No. So where in the fuck does Big Brother get off interfering with a biker’s freedom of choice? The same is true of the mandatory seat belt stupidity and air bag asininity. Sure, they do in fact keep us safer but we shouldn’t be forced into it. What are the chances, I wonder, of my crashing a vehicle at 75 MPH into that bridge abutment while not buckled up, being thrown through the windshield, and going splat all over some unsuspecting schmuck? I gotta tell ya folks, the odds are not just slim to none but virtually none to none. In like fashion, how is my refusal to employ airbags a threat to anyone but myself?

Sure, these are little things so to speak, and not nearly as dramatic as the examples posted earlier. Death, fire, and destruction always make the headlines but it is the slow, incremental loss of freedom and personal autonomy that are seldom immediately noticed especially when we are told that it’s for our own good! As a younger fellow I remember a time when there existed no seat belt, helmet, or air bag laws and I had the right and freedom to choose how I would live or perhaps die. Not so anymore, for we have lost those freedoms as insignificant as they may seem to some. All right then, let’s look at something else and decide if it should be deemed insignificant. How about property rights? You know, your absolute right to own private property and do any lawful thing you please with it. Does that seem insignificant to you? The original draft of Jefferson’s Declaration of Independence did NOT read the “right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” No, in fact it said, “the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of property.” Didn’t know that, did you? Don’t feel bad, almost nobody does.


Let’s suppose you decide to open a restaurant, you know a friendly neighborhood bar and grill, a cozy little pub. You buy one at a good price, do all the necessary preparation, and announce your grand opening under new management. Congratulations Mr. Entrepreneur, welcome to the American dream! Your own business: what a rush!! Many of your customers are smokers and, of course, you want to accommodate them, make them feel comfortable, in the hopes that they’ll keep coming back and recommend you to friends and family. Yup, you’re on your way! Not so fast Mr. Businessman because Big Brother’s about to come down so hard on you that you’ll be nothing but a giant bruise once he gets done having his way with you! The edict is issued: NO SMOKING IN PUBLIC FACILITIES! DON’T YOU KNOW THAT SMOKING ISN’T HEALTHY FOR YOU?!? The second-hand smoke, so-called, will also harm your non-smoking patrons and employees (by the way, the jury is still out on that one. See the WHO report of some years ago that maintained that while secondary smoke may be annoying as Hell, it is in no way harmful). Your dream is headed straight for the crapper unless you come up with a way to stop Big Government from ripping you a brand new asshole!

How can you get around this latest government encroachment on your right to own and enjoy the use of your private property? Well, let’s see now – got it! You’ll make it an issue of choice, one of exercising your right to free will. America has a long tradition of honoring the concept of freedom of choice and our budding entrepreneur will employ it to save his new venture. He’ll have large signs made informing customers that his is a smoking establishment and while your patronage would certainly be welcome you are more than free to spend your money elsewhere. Signs will be posted at all entrances and exits and throughout the place. Employees will be told that they may continue to work at the restaurant or that if the smoke is too offensive the owner will certainly understand if they looked for employment elsewhere and he’d be glad to provide thoroughly glowing recommendations. Got it covered! No one not even Uncle Sam could possibly find fault with a property owner offering Americans freedom of choice: crisis resolved! Oh yeah, not so damned fast Skippy, you just better back the fuck up! Those sleazy-ass liberals out there don’t want you exercising any of you rights, property or otherwise. Through the use of Big Government, something anathema to the Founders, they demand complete, total control over all aspects of your life from the smallest to the largest, from cradle to grave! Nice try with the sign thing but the jig is up: Uncle Sam and the liberals have spoken. You and your customers are less free than you used to be.

Care for one more example of government run amok? No – well tough shit ‘cause here it comes. You’ve heard, no doubt, of the concept of eminent domain. That’s right, the idea of government acquiring the private property of citizens if it is deemed in the public interest and for the greater good. The government can after paying fair market value for the homes of private individuals acquire them, destroy them, and build a hospital or perhaps an expressway to be used for the benefit of an entire community. This is absolutely Constitutional and has, in fact, been done occasionally in the past. There are certain problems inherent therein, especially the thorny issue of how one precisely defines fair market value. Maybe your home’s value has declined by one hundred thousand dollars at the time the government decides to throw your ass out into the street. Must you accept? Yup. Let’s suppose, on the other hand, that your home has appreciated and is worth more than three hundred thousand but you simply don’t want to relocate and prefer to spend your remaining days in the house that has been your family’s for generations. That’s right, my friend, you’re just shit out of luck because you are leaving and should you refuse the government will condemn the property and do as it pleases anyway!

Remember, this is perfectly Constitutional and though flawed it has happened relatively rarely. Never, however, is the government’s awesome power of eminent domain to be used for the betterment or enrichment of any other private individual or citizen! Absolutely not gonna happen and wouldn’t stand a snowball’s chance in fucking Hades if ever proposed. Wrong again. I give you the city of New London, Connecticut in the very recent past. A rather run down neighborhood had been selected by a commercial developer – a private citizen – as the perfect location for his brand new project, a shopping mall I believe. Far too many of the property owners didn’t want to give up their homes so the well-connected businessman got together with New London’s city fathers and with the help of who the fuck knows invoked the government’s power of eminent domain. Voila, the deed was done! Property owners lose, the Constitution loses, and a private citizen in the name of profit wins. What happened to the concept of only in the public interest and for the greater good? Yeah, that’s what I thought too. The rationale behind this chicanery has something to do with greatly increased tax revenues flowing into the coffers of New London and that would benefit all citizens while inflicting pain and suffering on a mere few. The legal case arising from this atrocity, this complete abridgement of property rights made it all the way to the Supreme Court. In its now infamous Kelo Case, those fucking lawyers in their black regal robes sided with the city of New London. There is, of course, no appeal from the highest court in the land.

All right, I know I shouldn’t get my bowels in an uproar over this one instance of eminent domain used to benefit a private citizen. Can you say the phrase setting a fucking precedent? That’s right, say it again, and again, and again until it sticks. I’m willing to wager every dime I’ve got as well as all of your dimes that over the next few years Kelo will be repeated time and again. It’ll be the newest method for communities to increase tax revenues while simultaneously ridding themselves of some of the less desirable elements in their midst. Take your limited government and stick it where the sun don’t shine!

OK, you say, what’s all this got to do with the 2nd Amendment? Hey Dummy, guns are property too! If the government can take away my damned house what makes you think it can’t take away your damned guns? Have you never heard of the gun control lobby? Those big government, anti-Constitutional assholes don’t want any private citizens owning any firearms of any kind, long or short. Their ultimate goal is not merely control but complete confiscation! Mark my words, the insistence on registration and licensing is but the first step down yet another road to the destruction of property rights – this time the kind of property that comes with a trigger! They’ll tell you that they have no objection to the concept of hunting or target shooting but those loony leftists are absolutely flat out lying through their teeth! In their perfect world only soldiers and cops will have firearms and sometime down the road they’ll probably try to find a way to disarm them as well! Maybe they’ll suggest adopting weapons that strictly fire non- lethal ammunition: only rubber bullets allowed!

In addition to the fear of an all powerful, out of control central government, the Founders had yet another reason for insisting upon an armed citizenry. They truly understood human nature and were keenly aware that some citizens of our new republic would prey on their brothers rather than earn honest livings. These men were nothing if not realists. They reasoned that since the bad guys existed and were armed then the good guys should be able to fight back: ipso facto, the 2nd Amendment was born. Hamilton insisted that there exists an “original right of self defense,” and John Adams concurred when he maintained that all citizens had a right and an obligation to “private self-defense.” These men knew that in a representative republic such as ours the constabulary could not be omnipresent. They understood that responsibility for defending ourselves, our families, and our property ultimately falls first and foremost to us – the individual citizen and not to some vague, nebulous thing we call government. When the majority of citizens abrogate this most basic and elemental of responsibilities to nameless, faceless bureaucrats we will have forfeited our right to call ourselves free. We will have, in fact, betrayed those sacrifices made by all those who so many years ago suffered and died to create the finest, freest nation God ever gave humankind.

Self defense is an absolute right as well as a necessity. Once that right is undermined or perhaps completely destroyed none of the other rights really matter. Think about it. If you can’t defend yourself, your family, or your property from the predators out there, what the Hell good does free speech or press do you? If the bad guys know your are defenseless and powerless then how meaningful are your rights to petition or assemble? If you can’t defend your own life, nothing else really seems to matter. The best way to do that is by owning a gun. There it is, Skippy, right out in the open. Go get yourself a damned gun and learn how to use it. Get expert training and keep going to the range until you are both competent and comfortable with your weapon of choice. You know the first thing you’ll realize? A gun is nothing more than a tool, an inanimate object, neither good nor bad. This is also true of hammers, automobiles, and baseball bats. In the hands of a carpenter, for example, a hammer is a useful, constructive tool. In the hands of a coked-out desperate crack-head looking to raise money for his next fix, well that hammer is no longer so benign.

You wouldn’t start a movement to ban hammers would you? You wouldn’t support legislation restricting hammer ownership to just a select few? How about this line of reasoning? In the 21st century it is no longer necessary for private citizens to wield hammers. Only professional, card carrying, bona fide, licensed carpenters will be able to own and carry hammers. Patently ridiculous isn’t it? Then why the fuck do you want to ban guns you asshole?! Don’t you get it – no gun has ever jumped up and pulled its own trigger all by itself! If the person holding the firearm is a good, decent, law-abiding citizen then the weapon is not a threat. If the gun owner is a piece of shit, malignant, violent criminal the story line changes but it has absolutely nothing to do with the gun and everything to do with who is holding the thing!

What about all those accidental shootings and tragic deaths of children we keep reading about? Shouldn’t that in itself justify banning hand guns? Nope. For all those horribly tragic stories we read about the kid finding dad’s gun and doing harm with it, I wonder why we don’t conversely read stories about all those households in which guns exist and nothing untoward has ever happened? The latter would far outweigh the former by an overwhelming percentage. As for that irresponsible asshole who left the gun where it shouldn’t have been, string him up by his balls for all I care. He has just proven that gun ownership isn’t for everybody. Remember, the arguments made in favor of the 2nd Amendment by us John Wayne-like, testosterone-laden, gun freaks have always been that all our freedoms are limited and none of them are absolute. Just as there exist restrictions on free speech and press, so too with the right to own guns. No one with a criminal record of any kind should be permitted to own firearms of any kind. Additionally, folks who have a history of mental illness should be banned from gun ownership. Sorry to all you criminals and crazies out there, but that’s just the way its got to be.

Guns are universally portrayed as evil in what has come to be called the mainstream media. You’ll rarely if ever see a story that shows guns in a good light. I read recently that something on the order of between ten and fifteen thousand folks are maimed or killed annually due to firearms. That’s a lot of folks, all right. Approximately half that number were gang bangers taking out other gang bangers and I really can’t get all that worked up over criminals killing other criminals. Just call me a hard ass or something. Conversely, the FBI (perhaps you’ve heard of that organization) estimates that between 1 and 1.5 million crimes are prevented every year because someone had a gun to defend himself, his family, or his property. You didn’t know that did you?

Does anyone remember the name Collin Ferguson? He was also known as the Long Island Gunman and one fine day he got on the Long Island Railroad and shot the living shit out of his fellow passengers. It occurred to me at the time that not one person in that car could return fire, bring down that bastard, and stop the carnage. Why? Because no one else on board was packing! How about the “incident” at the University of Virginia a relatively short while back when that maniacal mother fucker went on his killing spree? Not one person on that campus could return fire, not even the campus police. Does the name Columbine ring any bells? If you want to do something really nuts get yourself an issue of a publication called America’s First Freedom published by the National Rifle Association. Crazy, right? In every issue there is a section detailing how a home owner, a store owner, or a neighbor was able to prevent violent crime because they had a gun and were not afraid to use it! By the way, you might have figured this out by now you clever son of a gun (sorry), I am a bona fide, card carrying NRA member. Did you know that something like 25% of us don’t own any guns? Why would anyone who doesn’t own guns join the NRA? How about love of Constitution and country – does that do it for you? Listen up, Doofus, when the bad guys give up their guns maybe we’ll give up ours. Nah, that’ll never happen.

As fate would have it, only a few days before penning this screed the Supreme Court came out with its long awaited ruling on the 2nd Amendment. The liberal justices on that august body were out to destroy it. The city of Washington, D.C. banned all private gun ownership in the nation’s capitol leaving the citizens of one of the most violent, crime ridden urban centers in the country completely and utterly defenseless against the marauding scum that would just as soon kill them as look at them. I was not all that sanguine about the decision and I reckoned my cherished 2nd Amendment was dead in the water: finished, kaput, through! My pessimism was based on two of the most recent decisions handed down by those legislator wannabes. One bestowed due process and habeas corpus rights on unlawful enemy combatants. You know, those terrorist mother fuckers who want us all dead. What, our soldiers in the field will now have to Mirandize these Islamofascist scumbags? The second decision struck down a Louisiana state law, duly voted on by the electorate and passed by the legislature, that would allow the death penalty for any vile, venal, sub-human son of a bitch who raped a child! Do you believe this shit?! As far as I’m concerned, you mess with children you’re fucking dead – at least once!

No, I was not very hopeful about the survival of one of our most important Constitutional safeguards and I was thrilled and thankful that by the narrowest of margins (5-4) the justices struck down the D.C. gun ban as a violation of the Constitution! Joy, relief, elation, and a big way to go to the five justices that made it possible. Upon reflection and in a calmer mood, however, I realized that my reaction troubled me. Who the Hell do these people think they are? Let’s see, we already have the right to gun ownership – I know that because the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution says so – and these nine citizens from on high gave us permission to do something we already have the right to do? Hey, thanks a shit load guys! Remember what the Constitution says: “A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.” Anyone, any group, or any political party that wants to destroy this right also wants to destroy the United States of America. If they get their way with the 2nd Amendment, then there goes the 1st and perhaps the 10th. Once it starts it just doesn’t stop until America is completely unrecognizable, broken beyond repair, and destroyed!

Much Luv, Y’all and Have a Great Day!

The Fifth Horseman